so yeah i finally found this super chill little coffee spot that's got the hookup on the internet! im so stoked on it! so hey here's the DL, i went, i saw, i almost cried...haha JK.... Europe is pretty intense, def not what i expected. i thought by commin out here id be able to get away from all the hustle and bustle of people in general... oh boy was i ever wrong! there are WAY more people here per capita then i would have ever expected. it gets so crowded where we hangout sometimes that i straight up can't walk in a straight line down even one block! For as much as i complain about everything being busy as hell it's deff a diff perspective on life that i can appreciate. i brought this MAG from the states with me over here and surprisingly enough it's actually helping bring a whole new light to what i consider "my" way of thinking... it's pretty intense i know, it just being a MAG and all, but this MAG is called "What Is Enlightenment?" it's basically a bunch of Journal Publications on not necesarally how to better yourself as a person but all these people's diff experiences in life and how those helped them to better see what truely was in front of them.... it's a really good read for sure.... and on top of the whole "mind-expansion" dealio the whole not smokeing buddha for a whole month is deff helping me better appreciate what's comming at me on both a physical and mental level. i can at least say that i'm BEGINING to grow into a person that i wanted to become. Wealth and popularity were never at the top of my list in things to do before i died... at least i didn't think they were.... for as much as i denied ever wanting any part of it i know sub-conciously that was what i was after.... basically i was always concerned for whatever reason what even the most superficial people carred about me. i think it was cuz i wanted no matter what for people to like me. i was always truethful with everyone i knew it was just the people i just met that i was much more concerned about makeing a "good" first impression on. now i'm learning i really need to work on the people i alreadly know. i need to take the time to really pick the minds of who i really care for.... i need to spend a lot more time with the people i truely love... because i'm learning that EVERYONE has some hidden agenda in life.... it's seeming like it's almost always about them and what they want....and i mean in a selfish way.... now i'm not saying that everyone is out for themselves but from what i've personally experienced that what it kinda seems like. for as much as i say all these things being out here has helped me to see that there are still good people left in this world. there seems to be new ideals that come and go with each passing generation... and with high hopes i want to be able to be part of the next generation that has a certain higher standard for carring about people. at this point i'm not saying i'll ever be the "perfect soul" cuz that's just not realistic. i just want people to GROW UP a little bit. Emotionally i'm kinda fucked up right now... i've got so much goin on upstairs right now i'm not quite sure how to deal with it all at once. in part it may be due to the fact that i think i witnessed someone die today. Dad and i were walking up and down this super touristy little part of Zakopane with a bunch of little shops and whatnot. but while i was on my way to this coffee shop we noticed a few dudes dragging this guy that seemed to be unconcious out of the middle of the street where everone was walking and then a bunch of people started gathering around this guy. the dudes that were helping him kept asking the guy if he was ok and he wasn't saying anything muchless moveing.... he looked really pale.... more and more people started to gather around the situation. there were deff people that were concerned for his well being it seemed like. then this lady popped up and checked to see if he was breathing and from what it looked like he wasn't. so she started to try to recesitate him. pushing air into him and trying to beat life into his heart again. i'm not entirely sure what the outcome ended up being cuz someone had mind enough to call 911. they came and i watched what i could from the window of this coffee shop. i said a few prayers for the guy.... in hopes that he pulled through. I think the guy was a beggar off the street from how he was dressed but i could be wrong. the reason i'm feeling the way i am is cuz of the fact that i saw people who truely cared. they had no idea who this man was and yet they took the time to try to keep this man alive. be it for the fact that they knew this man had a family who cared for him, a mother who loved him, an entire existance to himself before this ungodly moment, whatever it was they stopped and took the time to help. and because of that i feel that there still might be some hope in human nature. and at the same time i saw people that mierly took a glance at what was happening and kept on walking. of course they would look at eachother and say something uder thier breath... not in a snicering way but they walked, looked at eachother and just kept on walking. and that was a huge mindfuck to me. i felt concern, sorrow, anger, appreciation, just all kinds of shit running through my dome. how much i missed everyone at home, how much i looked forward to season as soon as i got back to Colorado, what this mans family's reaction was gunna be when they heard the news.... so many things i can't even explain... i'm not really feeling all that confused as much as i want to be able to organize these feelings so i can understand what's going on in my mind and with humanity in general! I'm starting to realize the fact that everyone and everything is a contradiction to it's self.... but we grow from trying to understand these contradictions, from trying to take all of these situational puzzle pieces and make them into one huge image. i don't know if i'll personally ever be able "see the big picture" but i'm deff trying. all in all i really need to take the time to see what all you are all about....
But other than all that craziness i've really been enjoying my time here overseas. it's a whole diff way of living. So far i've gotten the chance to checkout Prague, Vienna, Budapest, and just all over Poland. i'm super stoked on the fact that i was able to find some Absithe! haha it'll deff be a "trip" as soon as i get back to the states! lol Prague was deff hands down my fav city we've visited so far. everything about that city seems to be entirly dedicated to the idea of art. it was beautiful. The arcitecture, the Vibrant color scemes, the general feeling i had just walking up and down all of the crazy twisting and turning little alleyways that curved their way throught every little nook of the city.... simply put it was an amazing feeling. if i had to pick one city in the whole world to just got to and live live for a little while... it would deff have to be Prague.
So here i sit in this little coffee shop in this little city on this little planet of ours contemplating life... it's a beautiful thing. Descartes couldn't have put it any better..."Cogito ergo sum" (I think therefore i am). We are all human and we only have so much time here... we need to help eachother figure out what it is that we truely are. and the only way to truely be able to do that is to take the time and look inside of yourself. Forget everything you know and at the same time know what we've gone through and bend the future to your liking... we are the future and we are responsible for where we're gunna end up.
for now i bid u farewell...